Start from GWAM EP1: Everything Sucks From This POV

The worse disservice you’ll do to yourself is to try to play down the facts and realities of life in their seasons as they come.

This act is self-sabotaging and would lead you to continue to treat the symptoms and not the root of whatever happened that brought you to where you are right now.

Life can happen to you at any time down the pathway of destiny. It can happen when you have to write a university entrance exam for seven years or when you are out of school but unlike everyone you know, you have to hunt for jobs for several years. The time is unpredictable.

It may well be that you have seen some rays of brightness, one promotion after another, until out of nowhere, something comes along and trips you up, sending you into a state of shock and panic.

Whenever it is, know one simple lesson: it is time to accept reality. Things have gone wrong and that is what it is.

We must accept the present if we must work out a plan for the future. We must take everything that is now in good faith and maintain hope.

And that is what many of us don’t know how to do—accepting life as it comes, with its stabs and punches.

It’s not even our fault, whatever blow life deals us with that is not our making. But we can be confident that we will get through this season, process and unpleasantness.

I was chatting with a friend some time ago and my new year prayer to him was: Happy New Year. May it bring all that God has in store for us. Good or bad.

The following conversation happened:

Him: This prayer tough ooo. Omoooo! But at the end of the day, God’s will lo se koko—God’s will is what matters.

Me: Exactly. You know we love to fantasise about having only good things when we do new year prayers. But the truth is bad times will come. So, I pray for the grace to stand through every bad time. Not for my life to be rosy. It’s impossible.

A rude interlude…

And life happened in the most unexpected way a few days later. I lost my only aunt, my mom’s only sister. And for a few days, I was in that state of numbness, grief and blankness so much that I couldn’t edit this episode to publish it as scheduled. I also had to miss out on all the plans I had for my UX writing training.


Our culture of false positivity doesn’t do much of helping us understand that life’s tough and unpleasant seasons are meant for our good. But if you are a Christ enthusiast like me or even read the Bible with keen desire, you’ll find that adversity is potent.

Right now, your life is a mess, it has kicked you hard and what is even worse, you have no one to show you where to go and how to get there.

What will you do?

Get depressed? Become a pessimist? Indulge in self-pity? Become overwhelmed with worry or dive into overthinking? Become crippled by self-entitlement? Give up on yourself?

Or will you take the challenge to grow without a mentor? Will you accept the reality while asking yourself, “What can I do with myself in this situation no matter?”

When life happened to me and I quit my teaching job as a fresh graduate, I was not deliberately asking these questions but I knew I must keep going and doing.

Was a few months later I saw a Facebook post for a charity walk for children amputees. I wrote my first article for the organisation and also decided to attend the walk. The article was not good enough, so, it was not published but it was an honest start.

I attended the walk where I met a significant person in the Nigerian tech sector, a co-founder of a popular tech hub in Lagos.

He offered me an internship role as a writer and social media manager in his personal project. That was the beginning of my journey to personal development, enthusiasm for tech, and growth as a writer.

This leadership mantel lies on your shoulder

It’s entirely up to you. You are the cheerleader of your journey, you are also the pioneer. You have never walked this path but you can start adapting to whatever it throws at you—good or bad.

Like Merlin, in a time like this, your destiny may have to rest entirely on your shoulder and you will have to find your gifts and abilities by exploring all by yourself.

And it all starts with accepting that right now, life has happened to you and the only way to get ahead is to lead yourself and ask yourself: “What can I do for myself to move ahead even in this state of difficulty.”

Acceptance then becomes the starting point and first lesson in your journey of growing without a mentor or forerunner. Choosing to become your own leader takes a vantage position next to acceptance.

Catch up on the next episode.

Don’t forget to spread the word about Grow Without a Mentor Series: A series on how to move ahead in life and career without forerunners, heroes and mentors to that one person in your circle who need to take the prompt for their life and destiny.

I’m rooting for your awesomeness!

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  • December 22, 2021